1 00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:07,341 Hey, Mrs. B. Wow. 2 00:00:07,475 --> 00:00:09,176 You look great. 3 00:00:09,177 --> 00:00:10,678 Oh, do I? 4 00:00:10,778 --> 00:00:12,512 Yeah. What's the occasion? 5 00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:13,881 Well, the occasion 6 00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:16,517 was your makeup and hair test for the wedding. 7 00:00:16,617 --> 00:00:17,951 Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. 8 00:00:18,052 --> 00:00:20,454 I... I don't know how I missed it. 9 00:00:20,554 --> 00:00:21,955 Mm. 10 00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:24,192 Hey, Mama. 11 00:00:24,325 --> 00:00:25,858 Whoa, you look amazing. 12 00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:27,495 Yeah, what's the occasion? 13 00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:30,292 I didn't miss our anniversary, did I? 14 00:00:31,399 --> 00:00:33,601 I missed the hair and makeup test. 15 00:00:33,701 --> 00:00:35,902 I texted you about it twice. 16 00:00:35,903 --> 00:00:38,371 Oh, uh, Mama, you texted 17 00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:40,902 the "Butler Fam" group. Courtney's not in that one. 18 00:00:40,974 --> 00:00:42,576 Yes. 19 00:00:42,577 --> 00:00:43,643 I'm sorry. 20 00:00:43,644 --> 00:00:44,945 CALVIN: I see it here, 21 00:00:44,946 --> 00:00:46,213 I see the "Butler Boys" on here, is that not a... 22 00:00:46,214 --> 00:00:47,474 No, Butler Boys is just us. 23 00:00:47,515 --> 00:00:49,917 (talking over each other) 24 00:00:50,017 --> 00:00:53,854 Okay, so which group has the-the little Yoda driving a car? 25 00:00:53,954 --> 00:00:56,224 Oh, that's the "Daphne Drivers" group. 26 00:00:56,225 --> 00:00:57,557 That's where we talk about 27 00:00:57,558 --> 00:00:58,825 pickup and drop-offs for daycare. 28 00:00:58,826 --> 00:01:00,227 Oh, and for the record, 29 00:01:00,228 --> 00:01:02,895 it's Grogu on a landspeeder, but yes. 30 00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:04,698 (laughs) 31 00:01:04,798 --> 00:01:05,848 Change that. 32 00:01:05,866 --> 00:01:07,000 Yeah. 33 00:01:07,768 --> 00:01:10,538 Okay, the makeup test may have been my oversight, 34 00:01:10,638 --> 00:01:12,072 but I am very busy, okay? 35 00:01:12,173 --> 00:01:14,408 I've got the florist, the rentals, 36 00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:15,743 the caterers. 37 00:01:15,744 --> 00:01:17,710 I mean, if we take our eyes off the ball, 38 00:01:17,711 --> 00:01:19,746 we're gonna be standing around the reception 39 00:01:19,747 --> 00:01:20,914 eating Gravy Jack's. 40 00:01:21,048 --> 00:01:23,251 I ain't be mad at that. 41 00:01:23,351 --> 00:01:25,319 Them jacked fries be fire, boy. 42 00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:26,587 (laughs) 43 00:01:27,388 --> 00:01:28,889 Marty, come on, 44 00:01:28,989 --> 00:01:30,590 get your head in the game, man. 45 00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:32,360 Be better. 46 00:01:32,361 --> 00:01:34,261 ? Welcome to the block, welcome to the neighborhood ? 47 00:01:34,262 --> 00:01:35,796 ? Welcome to the hood. ? 48 00:01:38,855 --> 00:01:41,534 That flight was a nightmare. 49 00:01:41,535 --> 00:01:43,002 Because one passenger is allergic, 50 00:01:43,003 --> 00:01:45,305 nobody gets peanuts? 51 00:01:45,306 --> 00:01:48,941 Mom, it seems like a small sacrifice to save a life. 52 00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,179 (scoffs) Snowflakes. 53 00:01:51,279 --> 00:01:52,979 Oh, look. (laughs) 54 00:01:52,980 --> 00:01:54,282 It's your buddy Calvin. 55 00:01:54,382 --> 00:01:55,816 Well, well, Paula. 56 00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:57,318 - Welcome back. - Thank you. 57 00:01:57,418 --> 00:01:58,468 How was your flight? 58 00:01:58,552 --> 00:02:00,154 Doesn't anybody dress up 59 00:02:00,155 --> 00:02:01,754 to get on an airplane anymore? 60 00:02:01,755 --> 00:02:03,591 I mean, the girl sitting next to me, 61 00:02:03,691 --> 00:02:05,459 she was wearing pajamas. 62 00:02:05,559 --> 00:02:07,060 (laughs) 63 00:02:07,161 --> 00:02:08,262 Nothing's sacred. 64 00:02:08,263 --> 00:02:10,129 But the flight was surprisingly smooth. 65 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:14,702 I was a little worried when I saw that we had a DEI pilot. 66 00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:17,504 Oh, I bet you were. 67 00:02:17,505 --> 00:02:18,972 - Yeah. - Dave, get your mama. 68 00:02:19,106 --> 00:02:20,474 I- M-Mom, Mom, 69 00:02:20,574 --> 00:02:22,744 you really shouldn't say things like that. 70 00:02:22,810 --> 00:02:24,845 What? I said it was smooth. 71 00:02:24,945 --> 00:02:27,181 I mean, are compliments illegal now? 72 00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:30,850 Hey, Paula. How was your- 73 00:02:30,951 --> 00:02:32,586 - Don't. Don't ask. - No, don't ask. 74 00:02:33,321 --> 00:02:36,857 I better call Chip and tell him I landed safely. 75 00:02:36,858 --> 00:02:38,491 I'm sure he's been worried sick 76 00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:41,729 since I told him about the lady pilot. 77 00:02:42,630 --> 00:02:43,864 Oh, okay. 78 00:02:43,964 --> 00:02:46,033 So she just don't like nobody. 79 00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:48,201 Chip is her new boyfriend. 80 00:02:48,202 --> 00:02:49,252 - Oh. - He owns a chain 81 00:02:49,253 --> 00:02:50,670 of car dealerships back home. 82 00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:53,207 It's all she talked about on the way here. 83 00:02:53,307 --> 00:02:55,376 "Chip was the Phantom of the Opera 84 00:02:55,377 --> 00:02:56,876 "at the Great Lakes Supper Club. 85 00:02:56,877 --> 00:02:59,247 And Chip has the hips of a salsa dancer." 86 00:03:00,448 --> 00:03:01,849 He doesn't sound so bad. 87 00:03:01,949 --> 00:03:03,651 "Chip is a very generous lover. 88 00:03:03,652 --> 00:03:05,285 He does things your father would never-" 89 00:03:05,286 --> 00:03:07,087 Okay. Okay, that's enough. 90 00:03:10,258 --> 00:03:12,192 MARTY: Oh, I couldn't possibly 91 00:03:12,326 --> 00:03:13,661 take another bite of cake. 92 00:03:13,761 --> 00:03:15,228 I cannot believe 93 00:03:15,229 --> 00:03:17,759 y'all are complaining about having to taste cake. 94 00:03:18,065 --> 00:03:21,034 Uh, excuse me, 95 00:03:21,134 --> 00:03:22,536 but who told your mother 96 00:03:22,670 --> 00:03:25,320 that you didn't need her help with the tablecloths? 97 00:03:26,507 --> 00:03:29,410 I was just trying to take something off her plate. 98 00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:31,078 See, that's just it. 99 00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:33,213 She doesn't want things off her plate. 100 00:03:33,314 --> 00:03:35,214 She wants everything on her plate. 101 00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:36,684 She lives for this. 102 00:03:36,685 --> 00:03:38,651 Yeah, but she's been so stressed out, 103 00:03:38,652 --> 00:03:41,053 running all over town. We don't want our wedding to kill her. 104 00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:43,090 Okay, okay. 105 00:03:43,190 --> 00:03:45,425 I see what's going on here. You think this is 106 00:03:45,426 --> 00:03:46,594 your wedding. 107 00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:49,162 No, no, no, no. This is her wedding. 108 00:03:49,263 --> 00:03:50,831 Yeah, she told me that. 109 00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:53,100 Yeah, you know, and if we survive this, 110 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:54,868 we're still not out the woods. 111 00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:56,570 Because two weeks later, 112 00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:57,938 it's Malcolm's wedding, 113 00:03:58,038 --> 00:03:59,473 which is actually... 114 00:03:59,474 --> 00:04:01,541 - Mama's wedding. - Mama's wedding. - Your mama's wedding. 115 00:04:01,542 --> 00:04:02,909 And don't forget it. 116 00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:05,077 I mean, the slightest thing could set her off. 117 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:07,079 You know what I call her when she gets like this? 118 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,916 - TN-Tina. - TN-Tina. 119 00:04:09,049 --> 00:04:10,284 Ba-boom. 120 00:04:11,184 --> 00:04:12,286 Ouch. 121 00:04:12,287 --> 00:04:13,986 Does she know you all call her that? 122 00:04:13,987 --> 00:04:16,290 Oh, hell no. 123 00:04:16,390 --> 00:04:18,260 You're not gonna flip on us, are you? 124 00:04:20,461 --> 00:04:21,629 Never. 125 00:04:22,530 --> 00:04:24,565 Listen, y'all let me handle this. 126 00:04:24,665 --> 00:04:26,265 I am the only one... 127 00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:28,101 - Oh, uh... - ...that knows how to deal 128 00:04:28,201 --> 00:04:29,831 with her when she gets like this. 129 00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:32,940 So for the next month, 130 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:34,775 everything runs through me. 131 00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:35,943 Are we clear? 132 00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:37,778 - Crystal clear. Yeah. - Roger that. 133 00:04:37,878 --> 00:04:39,947 We're here! 134 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:41,181 Oh, hey, Mama. 135 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:44,618 - Hey, Daphne. Oh, hi! - Hi, baby. 136 00:04:44,752 --> 00:04:47,119 Mrs. B, thank you so much 137 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,621 for doing the afternoon pickups, 138 00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:51,659 and all the wedding errands. 139 00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:53,927 Is there anything you can't do? 140 00:04:54,027 --> 00:04:55,929 - Oh, stop it! (laughs) - There you go. 141 00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:57,130 There it is. 142 00:04:57,230 --> 00:04:58,280 TINA: Oh, man, 143 00:04:58,281 --> 00:04:59,499 I just love going to daycare. 144 00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:00,533 But that little Connor, 145 00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:01,901 he's a piece of work, though. 146 00:05:01,902 --> 00:05:02,952 Really? 147 00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:04,405 He's usually so sweet. 148 00:05:04,505 --> 00:05:06,306 Well, Tina says he's not sweet, 149 00:05:06,407 --> 00:05:08,476 so, you know, drop it. 150 00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:13,013 You know, I caught him pulling Daphne's hair. 151 00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:14,982 - Mm-mm. - Oh, no. 152 00:05:15,082 --> 00:05:16,315 Did you talk to Ms. Doris? 153 00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:17,518 Ms. Doris? 154 00:05:17,618 --> 00:05:19,052 I talked to Connor. 155 00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:23,457 Mama, he's two. 156 00:05:23,557 --> 00:05:25,025 (stammers) 157 00:05:25,026 --> 00:05:26,759 We usually let the teachers handle this kind of stuff. 158 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:29,096 Well, that little boy needed to be told, 159 00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:32,032 "Hey, hey, hey! You do not pull hair." 160 00:05:36,637 --> 00:05:39,372 Jeopardy's supposed to be on channel four, 161 00:05:39,373 --> 00:05:41,909 but-but no, here it's on seven. 162 00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:44,511 Did your crazy governor do that? 163 00:05:44,512 --> 00:05:48,181 Yes, Mom. It's all part of his radical agenda. 164 00:05:48,281 --> 00:05:50,017 I knew it. 165 00:05:50,918 --> 00:05:52,351 What's with the lamp? 166 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:54,555 It's a Himalayan rock salt lamp. 167 00:05:54,655 --> 00:05:56,223 Some doctors believe 168 00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:59,893 it helps with stress relief, fat burning, improved sleep. 169 00:05:59,993 --> 00:06:02,630 (scoffs) Sounds like a load of crap. 170 00:06:03,897 --> 00:06:06,033 I agree, but, you know, 171 00:06:06,166 --> 00:06:08,034 the telehealth company I work for 172 00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:11,572 wants me to encourage my therapy clients to buy them. 173 00:06:11,672 --> 00:06:13,974 So you're selling lamps now? 174 00:06:15,275 --> 00:06:16,610 Let me talk to Chip. 175 00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,520 I mean, his business is going crazy. 176 00:06:18,521 --> 00:06:20,046 I'm sure he could find a job for you. 177 00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:22,215 Mom, wouldn't that job be in Michigan? 178 00:06:22,315 --> 00:06:24,845 Well, I didn't say there wouldn't be adjustments. 179 00:06:25,919 --> 00:06:28,556 Please. Mom, we moved here 180 00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:30,524 for a reason. 181 00:06:30,624 --> 00:06:31,674 To hurt me. 182 00:06:31,759 --> 00:06:33,326 No. 183 00:06:34,161 --> 00:06:37,564 Gemma got a very impressive job here. 184 00:06:37,565 --> 00:06:38,899 (laughs) Oh, yeah. 185 00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:41,234 But she was telling me that she's over it. 186 00:06:41,235 --> 00:06:42,368 Right, Gemma? 187 00:06:42,369 --> 00:06:45,105 I-I didn't say "over it." 188 00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:46,540 No, I don't blame you. 189 00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:49,075 Who wants to work for some fancy private school 190 00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:51,111 where everyone gets a gold star? 191 00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:52,613 Even the slow kids. 192 00:06:52,713 --> 00:06:54,748 - Whoa. - (groans) 193 00:06:54,749 --> 00:06:56,348 Definitely didn't say "slow kids." 194 00:06:56,349 --> 00:06:59,853 Mom, please, I know that you love Michigan, 195 00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:02,089 but our lives are here. 196 00:07:02,090 --> 00:07:04,123 Plus, Grover just started a new high school. 197 00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:06,726 Oh, yeah, where he's covering himself with tattoos. 198 00:07:06,727 --> 00:07:08,462 One tattoo, Mom. 199 00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:11,298 Well, in Kalamazoo, kids don't get tattoos. 200 00:07:11,398 --> 00:07:13,233 Because they're not in gangs. 201 00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:14,967 Grover is not in a gang. 202 00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:17,471 We can't even get him to join a club. 203 00:07:17,571 --> 00:07:20,272 Well, I'm just glad you're all so happy here. 204 00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:21,808 I mean, 205 00:07:21,809 --> 00:07:24,777 if you're choosing to pay these California taxes, 206 00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:26,614 it must be worth it. 207 00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,117 It is worth it. 208 00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:31,570 We have beautiful beaches. 209 00:07:31,585 --> 00:07:33,120 Yeah. We never go to them, 210 00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:34,454 but we could. 211 00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:42,362 Daphne's finally down, and we are never giving her cake again. 212 00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:44,532 Marty, we've got problems. 213 00:07:45,533 --> 00:07:46,934 Look at your phone. 214 00:07:46,935 --> 00:07:49,101 Connor's mom is in the parents group chat 215 00:07:49,102 --> 00:07:50,937 complaining that your mom overstepped 216 00:07:50,938 --> 00:07:52,305 and disciplined her child. 217 00:07:52,306 --> 00:07:54,306 Yeah, well, her child pulled Daphne's hair. 218 00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:56,844 A-ha! Wha- 219 00:07:56,944 --> 00:07:58,979 Hey, man, where did all the cake go? 220 00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:01,314 - (phone ringing) - Uh-oh. It's Doris. 221 00:08:01,414 --> 00:08:02,854 What, the daycare director? 222 00:08:02,855 --> 00:08:04,584 - Decline. Just decline. - Yeah, don't answer it. 223 00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:06,452 - Courtney, you can decline it. - Don't answer! Courtney! 224 00:08:06,453 --> 00:08:09,321 Hello? Hi! 225 00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:10,824 Ms. Doris. 226 00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:12,525 Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 227 00:08:12,526 --> 00:08:13,661 Sure. 228 00:08:13,761 --> 00:08:14,811 Uh-huh. 229 00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:16,564 Uh-huh, I understand. 230 00:08:16,664 --> 00:08:18,566 Thank you. 231 00:08:18,666 --> 00:08:22,369 Well, that was a lot of "uh-huhs." 232 00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:25,005 Your mom... 233 00:08:25,138 --> 00:08:26,907 - Uh-huh? - Uh-huh? 234 00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:29,342 ...has been banned from daycare. 235 00:08:29,343 --> 00:08:30,442 Oh, damn. 236 00:08:30,443 --> 00:08:32,045 What are we gonna do? 237 00:08:32,046 --> 00:08:34,013 We can't tell her, it'll destroy her. 238 00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:35,515 We have to tell her something. 239 00:08:35,649 --> 00:08:37,851 Oh, no, we don't. Listen, 240 00:08:37,985 --> 00:08:39,219 you heard Pop. 241 00:08:39,220 --> 00:08:40,853 When she gets stressed out like this, 242 00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,722 everything goes through him. 243 00:08:42,723 --> 00:08:44,692 - Yes. Yes. - Yes. Yes. 244 00:08:44,792 --> 00:08:46,525 Okay, uh, 245 00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:49,863 "Daddy, we have a problem." 246 00:08:50,430 --> 00:08:53,233 Why does everything in this town have to be vegan? 247 00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:54,867 DAVE: It doesn't. 248 00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:55,918 GEMMA: And froyo 249 00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:57,236 isn't vegan. 250 00:08:57,237 --> 00:08:59,238 PAULA: I-I just want to know 251 00:08:59,239 --> 00:09:01,108 who canceled ice cream. 252 00:09:02,142 --> 00:09:04,211 Calvin! 253 00:09:04,311 --> 00:09:05,646 Come here. 254 00:09:05,746 --> 00:09:07,414 Can I ask you a question? 255 00:09:07,514 --> 00:09:09,082 Of course. 256 00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:10,918 Why does this keep happening? 257 00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:14,922 Everybody in L.A. thinks my name is Karen. 258 00:09:16,924 --> 00:09:20,327 You know, because you be "carin' so much." 259 00:09:21,528 --> 00:09:23,997 That is definitely the reason. 260 00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:26,900 - (phone chimes) - Oh, goodness. 261 00:09:27,034 --> 00:09:28,836 - Uh-oh. - What? 262 00:09:28,936 --> 00:09:31,237 I got a text from Marty. 263 00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:33,607 Says Tina's been banned from daycare. 264 00:09:33,707 --> 00:09:34,942 What? Why? 265 00:09:34,943 --> 00:09:37,143 This is all I have right there. 266 00:09:37,144 --> 00:09:38,445 Oh, my God. 267 00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:40,547 She's gonna be so upset. 268 00:09:40,648 --> 00:09:41,849 Not on my watch. 269 00:09:41,949 --> 00:09:44,785 Let me text the boys back in the group text 270 00:09:44,885 --> 00:09:47,420 and just let them know, "stay out of this." 271 00:09:48,188 --> 00:09:52,092 "I will keep TN-Tina from blowing her top." 272 00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:54,461 Did you hear that? 273 00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:58,331 Oh, that is so the perfect nickname. 274 00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:01,368 Isn't that right? Ba-boom! 275 00:10:01,468 --> 00:10:03,070 (phones chime) 276 00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:06,506 Okay, good. Dad says he's handling it. 277 00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:07,807 Oh, damn. 278 00:10:07,808 --> 00:10:10,142 Pop sent the text to the "Butler Fam" chat. 279 00:10:10,143 --> 00:10:12,345 Your mom is in that one. 280 00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:15,114 We are all gonna die! 281 00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:16,383 (shouting) 282 00:10:19,602 --> 00:10:21,954 Daddy, what have you done? 283 00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:22,989 What are you talking about? 284 00:10:22,990 --> 00:10:23,990 That text. 285 00:10:23,991 --> 00:10:25,826 About TN-Tina blowing her top? 286 00:10:25,926 --> 00:10:28,194 You sent it to the group with Mama in it. 287 00:10:28,195 --> 00:10:29,262 No, I didn't. 288 00:10:29,263 --> 00:10:30,730 - Yes, you did. - Yes, you did. 289 00:10:30,731 --> 00:10:33,166 - Look, look... - (talking over each other) 290 00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:35,703 We are in this one. You want the one she's not in. 291 00:10:35,836 --> 00:10:37,437 Oh, damn, I did. 292 00:10:38,371 --> 00:10:39,421 You did. 293 00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:41,174 Look, it is a group chat. 294 00:10:41,274 --> 00:10:43,076 You check and double-check, 295 00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:45,178 and if all else fails, you unsend. 296 00:10:45,278 --> 00:10:47,614 But it's too late now. 297 00:10:47,715 --> 00:10:49,216 The die has been cast. 298 00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:50,650 Hey, Marty, Marty! 299 00:10:50,751 --> 00:10:52,986 Get ahold of yourself. 300 00:10:53,038 --> 00:10:55,121 All right, look, 301 00:10:55,122 --> 00:10:56,456 I'll just say that 302 00:10:56,457 --> 00:10:58,691 you didn't like the cake that your mama picked out, 303 00:10:58,692 --> 00:11:00,193 and that you want coconut, 304 00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:02,062 and you thought she would be mad. 305 00:11:02,195 --> 00:11:04,331 So, that's it. Say it with me. Coconut. 306 00:11:04,431 --> 00:11:05,899 - Coconut. - Coconut. 307 00:11:05,900 --> 00:11:07,399 - Coconut. - Coconut. That's it. 308 00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,870 How do you explain calling her "TN-Tina"? 309 00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:13,306 (groans) 310 00:11:14,942 --> 00:11:16,408 Okay, you know what? 311 00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:20,547 I'll just say that she's hot like a firecracker. 312 00:11:20,647 --> 00:11:22,015 - Oh, oh. - Huh? 313 00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:23,717 - Yeah, man. That is... - Come on. 314 00:11:23,718 --> 00:11:25,351 - It just came from nowhere. - From nowhere. 315 00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:26,819 I landed the plane with that one. 316 00:11:26,820 --> 00:11:29,322 - (imitates beeping) - You see me? (shouts) 317 00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:31,557 She gonna love that. She gonna love it. 318 00:11:31,558 --> 00:11:34,127 And she is not here screaming at us, 319 00:11:34,227 --> 00:11:36,029 so maybe she hasn't seen it yet. 320 00:11:36,129 --> 00:11:37,697 - That's a good point. - Yeah. 321 00:11:37,798 --> 00:11:39,608 We still got time to smash her phone. 322 00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:42,235 PAULA: Oh, Chip. 323 00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:44,371 No, 324 00:11:44,471 --> 00:11:48,108 Tom Selleck hasn't stolen me away from you yet. 325 00:11:50,343 --> 00:11:51,845 He's so funny. 326 00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:55,048 Okay, good night, honey. 327 00:11:56,516 --> 00:11:57,751 No. 328 00:11:58,585 --> 00:12:00,453 No, I can't. 329 00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:02,089 They're right here. 330 00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:03,957 Oh. 331 00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:05,826 Yeah, we're right here, Chip! 332 00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:09,596 - Bye. - So, how's Chip? 333 00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,264 Besides horny? 334 00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:14,601 He's fine. Oh, and guess what? 335 00:12:14,701 --> 00:12:17,303 He has a job for you. 336 00:12:17,304 --> 00:12:19,039 (sighs) Mom, I told you, 337 00:12:19,139 --> 00:12:21,308 I don't want to sell cars. 338 00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:23,710 Your passion is selling lamps? 339 00:12:24,945 --> 00:12:27,613 They're making you sell lamps now? 340 00:12:27,614 --> 00:12:28,949 Oh, honey. 341 00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:30,316 Okay. 342 00:12:30,317 --> 00:12:32,820 And the job wouldn't even be in sales. 343 00:12:32,953 --> 00:12:36,123 Mom, I told you, I don't want the job. 344 00:12:36,223 --> 00:12:38,291 Because you'd be a nepo baby? 345 00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:42,996 Nobody has to know he's rocking your mommy's world. 346 00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:44,531 Oh, my God. 347 00:12:46,699 --> 00:12:48,334 That wasn't the issue, 348 00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:50,804 although now, it will haunt me forever. 349 00:12:50,904 --> 00:12:52,239 Mom, 350 00:12:52,339 --> 00:12:54,307 for the hundredth time, 351 00:12:54,407 --> 00:12:57,010 we live in Los Angeles. 352 00:12:57,945 --> 00:12:59,379 All right. 353 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:01,915 I get it. 354 00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:05,185 I had to try. 355 00:13:06,486 --> 00:13:07,746 And you know I only do this 356 00:13:07,747 --> 00:13:09,421 because I love you and I miss you, 357 00:13:09,422 --> 00:13:13,026 and I just wish you weren't so far away. 358 00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:17,898 That's actually sweet. 359 00:13:17,998 --> 00:13:20,267 Rocking her world? 360 00:13:21,201 --> 00:13:22,569 (groans) 361 00:13:25,372 --> 00:13:27,007 Okay. 362 00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,542 Looks like the coast is clear. 363 00:13:29,676 --> 00:13:31,043 Her phone's right there. 364 00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:32,144 Okay, what's her password? 365 00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:33,546 Don't worry about that. 366 00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:36,349 Everybody, just clear... watch out for shrapnel. 367 00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:39,051 - No, Daddy, you don't have to- - Oh, no, no! 368 00:13:39,052 --> 00:13:40,102 - Hey! - Hey! 369 00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:41,854 What's up? How y'all doing? 370 00:13:41,855 --> 00:13:44,324 Good, we good. How you doing? 371 00:13:44,424 --> 00:13:45,725 That's the real question. 372 00:13:45,859 --> 00:13:47,060 Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine. 373 00:13:47,194 --> 00:13:48,695 That's- Where did my phone go? 374 00:13:48,696 --> 00:13:51,030 - That's what I'm looking for... - You know, I don't know. 375 00:13:51,031 --> 00:13:52,264 You know, how about we go to the store 376 00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:53,315 and get you a new one. 377 00:13:53,316 --> 00:13:54,967 MARTY: Yeah, yeah. That's good. 378 00:13:54,968 --> 00:13:56,903 You know, I hear the cameras are so much better now. 379 00:13:56,904 --> 00:13:59,372 Oh. Okay, fine, but before we go, 380 00:13:59,472 --> 00:14:00,540 a quick question. 381 00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:01,808 Who's "TN-Tina"? 382 00:14:01,909 --> 00:14:04,044 - Damn it! This is bad. - I should've run. 383 00:14:04,144 --> 00:14:06,078 So, who is TN-Tina? 384 00:14:06,079 --> 00:14:07,714 Yeah, that's the question. 385 00:14:07,715 --> 00:14:09,115 - That is the question. - That's the question right there. 386 00:14:09,116 --> 00:14:11,618 You know, TN-Tina is you, babe. 387 00:14:11,718 --> 00:14:13,886 - Mm. - 'Cause you hot like a firecracker. 388 00:14:13,887 --> 00:14:16,456 (chuckles) You like that, don't you? 389 00:14:16,556 --> 00:14:18,125 I do not. 390 00:14:20,645 --> 00:14:22,728 That's all I got. 391 00:14:22,729 --> 00:14:23,896 Daddy, come on, what happened 392 00:14:23,897 --> 00:14:25,132 to flying the plane? 393 00:14:25,232 --> 00:14:26,566 You were flying the plane. 394 00:14:26,567 --> 00:14:28,534 Wait. Wait a minute. Why are you so worried 395 00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:29,736 I'm gonna blow my top? 396 00:14:29,836 --> 00:14:31,403 It's-it's about the cake. 397 00:14:31,404 --> 00:14:33,406 We have decided we want coconut. 398 00:14:33,506 --> 00:14:35,008 - Coconut. - Oh. 399 00:14:35,009 --> 00:14:37,409 Okay, that makes sense, 'cause you're allergic, 400 00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:38,544 so you want your whole chest 401 00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:40,380 to break out in a big itchy rash 402 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:41,814 on your wedding day. 403 00:14:41,915 --> 00:14:43,250 Daddy made us lie! 404 00:14:43,350 --> 00:14:44,751 Uh-huh. I knew it. 405 00:14:44,752 --> 00:14:45,884 He don't know! 406 00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,520 It's not my fault that y'all 407 00:14:47,620 --> 00:14:50,290 sent our grandbaby to a little punk-ass preschool. 408 00:14:51,258 --> 00:14:52,591 Wait, wait a minute. 409 00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:54,293 What are y'all talking about? 410 00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:56,762 Ma, it's... it's about that little boy that you yelled at. 411 00:14:56,763 --> 00:14:59,466 I did not yell at that little boy. 412 00:14:59,599 --> 00:15:01,568 When do I yell at kids?! 413 00:15:01,668 --> 00:15:03,937 Regardless, Doris has... 414 00:15:04,071 --> 00:15:05,505 Go on. 415 00:15:09,943 --> 00:15:12,479 ...banned you from daycare. 416 00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:14,114 Banned? 417 00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:16,183 Mm-mm. 418 00:15:16,283 --> 00:15:19,119 Oh. I see. 419 00:15:19,219 --> 00:15:21,989 Well, I would love to tell Doris 420 00:15:22,122 --> 00:15:24,823 my side of the story, so 421 00:15:24,824 --> 00:15:26,393 I'll stop by and say hi. 422 00:15:26,493 --> 00:15:28,528 (all stammering) 423 00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:30,363 I don't think that's a good idea. 424 00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:34,166 Now, now, do not worry about me, okay? 425 00:15:34,167 --> 00:15:35,867 I'll just have a quick chat with Doris 426 00:15:35,868 --> 00:15:38,371 and maybe take away something she loves. 427 00:15:38,372 --> 00:15:40,973 - No, Mama. - Oh, no, she's gonna blow! She's gonna blow! 428 00:15:40,974 --> 00:15:42,574 Get the keys! Somebody get the keys! 429 00:15:42,575 --> 00:15:43,809 - Move out of my way! - Mama... 430 00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:45,645 (shouting) 431 00:15:46,746 --> 00:15:48,981 (Calvin stammering) 432 00:15:48,982 --> 00:15:50,783 (grunting) 433 00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:53,386 (shouting) 434 00:15:56,663 --> 00:16:01,627 Hey, how was dropping your mom off at the airport? 435 00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:04,363 Well, she very helpfully alerted security 436 00:16:04,364 --> 00:16:07,467 to three possible terrorists at the bag drop. 437 00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:11,138 O for three, by the way. 438 00:16:13,140 --> 00:16:14,706 Well, now she's Chip's problem. 439 00:16:14,707 --> 00:16:16,676 I gotta say, he's kind of good for her. 440 00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:18,645 Yeah, she did seem happy. 441 00:16:18,646 --> 00:16:20,879 It's just so insulting that she would think that I would 442 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:24,217 drop everything and go work for the great and powerful Chip. 443 00:16:24,218 --> 00:16:26,518 (imitating Chip): Oh, I'm the Phantom. I sell cars. 444 00:16:26,519 --> 00:16:28,021 (chuckles) 445 00:16:28,022 --> 00:16:29,821 Although I checked out his website, 446 00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,390 it's actually pretty impressive. 447 00:16:31,391 --> 00:16:32,692 Yeah, I looked at it. 448 00:16:32,792 --> 00:16:34,361 Seems snazzy enough. 449 00:16:34,461 --> 00:16:35,595 (phone chimes) 450 00:16:36,629 --> 00:16:39,232 Somebody's texting me from Kalamazoo. 451 00:16:39,366 --> 00:16:41,134 (scoffs) It's Chip. 452 00:16:41,234 --> 00:16:42,835 "Hey, sport." 453 00:16:42,935 --> 00:16:44,671 You're not my dad, Chip. 454 00:16:44,771 --> 00:16:46,706 It's okay, Dave. 455 00:16:46,707 --> 00:16:49,508 "Just wanted to give you a few deets on the job." 456 00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:53,280 Not fooling anyone with the "deets," grandpa. 457 00:16:54,214 --> 00:16:55,482 Huh. 458 00:16:56,583 --> 00:16:58,518 "VP of Human Resources"? 459 00:16:58,618 --> 00:17:00,220 Isn't that kind of good? 460 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:02,255 I mean, it is. 461 00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:05,525 In a different world, that would be right up my alley, but 462 00:17:05,625 --> 00:17:07,827 it's in Kalamazoo and we live in L.A. 463 00:17:07,927 --> 00:17:09,129 (scoffs) Yeah, we do. 464 00:17:09,229 --> 00:17:10,919 We could go to the beach right now. 465 00:17:10,963 --> 00:17:12,332 You want to go right now? 466 00:17:12,432 --> 00:17:14,234 I don't know. Traffic. 467 00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:19,572 Look, babe, I'm sorry 468 00:17:19,573 --> 00:17:21,540 that you're having to deal with all of this. 469 00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:22,908 I mean, 470 00:17:22,909 --> 00:17:24,276 you got enough on your plate 471 00:17:24,277 --> 00:17:25,644 with the wedding coming up in two weeks, 472 00:17:25,645 --> 00:17:28,181 and all these super-sensitive parents 473 00:17:28,281 --> 00:17:31,118 snitching you out basically over nothing. 474 00:17:32,219 --> 00:17:35,222 I'm not mad at them, Calvin. I'm mad at you. 475 00:17:35,707 --> 00:17:37,756 Me? 476 00:17:37,757 --> 00:17:38,891 Yes. 477 00:17:38,892 --> 00:17:40,592 After all our years we've been together, 478 00:17:40,593 --> 00:17:43,629 I don't want you thinking that you have to manage me. 479 00:17:43,630 --> 00:17:45,397 I was just trying to protect your feelings. 480 00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:49,536 Why, 'cause you didn't want TN-Tina to go off? 481 00:17:49,636 --> 00:17:51,971 I didn't make up that nickname. 482 00:17:52,805 --> 00:17:54,807 Well, who did? 483 00:17:54,941 --> 00:17:56,309 Okay, I did. 484 00:17:58,077 --> 00:17:59,779 But it was actually kind of funny 485 00:17:59,879 --> 00:18:01,681 before you found out about it. 486 00:18:01,781 --> 00:18:03,616 Calvin, you're always saying 487 00:18:03,716 --> 00:18:06,319 people should talk things out, be more direct. 488 00:18:06,453 --> 00:18:08,621 Maybe you could show me the same respect, 489 00:18:08,721 --> 00:18:11,958 instead of going around, texting behind my back. 490 00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:13,360 Okay. 491 00:18:13,460 --> 00:18:15,562 I mean, you're right. My bad. 492 00:18:15,662 --> 00:18:16,963 But, just for the record, 493 00:18:16,964 --> 00:18:18,797 I'm not the only one in this marriage 494 00:18:18,798 --> 00:18:20,467 who isn't always direct. 495 00:18:20,567 --> 00:18:22,135 What are you talking about? 496 00:18:22,235 --> 00:18:25,504 (chuckles) My favorite Adidas tracksuit? 497 00:18:25,505 --> 00:18:28,641 The one I accidentally spilled bleach on? 498 00:18:31,278 --> 00:18:33,613 I mean, come on. It was older than Malcolm. 499 00:18:33,713 --> 00:18:35,648 You insisted on going out in it. 500 00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:38,385 You wore the "A" off. It just said "didas." 501 00:18:38,485 --> 00:18:40,520 Well, you don't need the words 502 00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:43,290 if you got the stripes. The people know. 503 00:18:45,325 --> 00:18:46,826 Okay, fine. 504 00:18:46,827 --> 00:18:49,861 I could have been more direct, just like you could have been. 505 00:18:49,862 --> 00:18:52,165 - And I will be. - Thank you. 506 00:18:52,265 --> 00:18:54,501 Come here, girl. Come on. 507 00:18:55,668 --> 00:18:56,869 I mean, 508 00:18:57,003 --> 00:18:59,038 you really didn't like 509 00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:01,708 when I said you were hot like a firecracker? 510 00:19:02,509 --> 00:19:04,844 I kind of liked it. 511 00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:06,712 In that case, 512 00:19:06,713 --> 00:19:09,516 it's about to be the Fourth of July up in here, girl. 513 00:19:09,616 --> 00:19:11,017 (laughs) 514 00:19:11,117 --> 00:19:13,186 Well, all right! 515 00:19:13,286 --> 00:19:15,054 ? ? 516 00:19:22,529 --> 00:19:25,898 I don't know, it could be therapeutic for you, Jerry. 517 00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:27,700 The heat of the lightbulb 518 00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:29,736 releases the negative ions 519 00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:31,603 in the Himalayan salt. 520 00:19:31,604 --> 00:19:34,674 JERRY: Will this help me with my online shopping addiction? 521 00:19:37,444 --> 00:19:39,946 No. Uh... 522 00:19:40,046 --> 00:19:41,447 No, J-Jerry, 523 00:19:41,448 --> 00:19:43,149 it's a lamp made out of salt. 524 00:19:43,150 --> 00:19:44,950 It won't do anything for anybody. 525 00:19:44,951 --> 00:19:47,654 Well, I guess I'll try it. 526 00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:50,623 No-no, Jerry. 527 00:19:50,624 --> 00:19:52,591 Stop buying garbage on the Internet, 528 00:19:52,592 --> 00:19:54,126 and go see a real therapist, 529 00:19:54,261 --> 00:19:55,962 which is what I used to be. 530 00:19:56,062 --> 00:19:58,465 So, is the shipping free? 531 00:20:01,268 --> 00:20:02,869 Goodbye, Jerry. 532 00:20:08,841 --> 00:20:11,010 ? ? 533 00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:30,530 "Gemma... 534 00:20:30,630 --> 00:20:32,332 I've been thinking." 535 00:20:32,432 --> 00:20:33,600 (phone whooshes) 536 00:20:33,700 --> 00:20:35,302 (phone chimes) 537 00:20:37,970 --> 00:20:39,672 Whoa. 538 00:20:39,772 --> 00:20:41,508 No, no, no, no, no. Dave. 539 00:20:41,608 --> 00:20:44,043 You put this in the group chat. 540 00:20:44,944 --> 00:20:46,545 (phones chime) 541 00:20:46,546 --> 00:20:51,584 BOTH: "Maybe going to Kalamazoo is not so crazy." 542 00:21:00,727 --> 00:21:03,696 Captioning sponsored by CBS 543 00:21:03,830 --> 00:21:06,499 and TOYOTA. 544 00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:10,036 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 545 00:21:10,086 --> 00:21:14,636 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0